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My venerable Blue Peter badge for writing poetry… my greatest literary achievement… I was gutted when I lost it …

I’ve always loved writing.  I didn’t have a particularly easy childhood and writing became a form of escapism for me.

I have bumbled my way through my writing life, never totally abandoning it but after a purple patch surge I would retreat back into a dark, lonely bubble of self-disbelief.

In 2015, I started having in-depth discussions with the Universe about my future.  I didn’t hold back, The Universe has been around forever, so it is very patient and a very good listener.  I confessed that I felt like a drudge to my 9-5, Monday to Friday existence.  I was looking for something more enlightening in my life, even if it meant for less financial reward.

The Universe responded by presenting me with an opportunity to go to a Writer’s Weekend Workshop hosted by Adrienne Dines and Barbara Large.   During the course of the weekend, they inspired and encouraged me and I came away glowing in a haze of self-belief.

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The Universe doesn’t beat around the bush and three weeks after meeting Adrienne and Barbara, I was made redundant.  Jobless at the wrong side of fifty is not good news because finding yourself another one is a nightmare.

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I became driven by the words Carpe and Diem.  Sod it!  I thought.  Life’s too short not to be doing something you love and I started writing the bare bones of my first novel the week I was made redundant.

Four weeks later and still reeling from the redundancy bombshell, the first of four family members died during the following six month period.  It was fate in the rawest sense.  I would never have been granted the amount of time off work I needed during that time.

I carried on writing through the dark times that followed.  I threw my heart and soul into it, writing through all hours of the day and night, making up for lost time.  It helped to ease the pain from the emotional fallout of losing the four people that had been the bedrock of my life, as well as healing the writing void that had weighed so heavily inside me for so long.

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I became a student of Qi Gong at the end of 2016 and my world is now a much calmer place.

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Talk to the Universe – but be careful what you ask for…

 

5 comments

  1. Loved your explanation about dogs finding us and I agree with you. Both Bob and Ellie found us, Bob when we moved into a new house that felt strange and I was lost in it. He solved that problem. Ellie when I was made redundant, since she arrived our lives have changed in many ways.
    Interesting site, I will follow with delight.

  2. Now you kindly visited my little corner of the blogosphere and that was lovely so here I am to see who you are Tessa. Love the intro and wholeheartedly agree (as a bloke) with you feminist rants. Even today on Woman’s Hour it told me the Wikipedia, the knowledge repository for mankind (so it claims) is edited by 97%men which makes it half the knowledge of the world and probably a lot less given the focus of most blokes. So keep ranting, start a campaign for Caitlin Moran to be made a dame and I’m following. It’s women’s turn to run things and sort things out or mess things up. We’ve had our go and it hasn’t been a total success.

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