Advertisements

JUST BEEN RUBY WAXED

Ruby Wax is an inspiration to women of my generation, no wait... judging by the wide-ranging ages of both men and women in the audience last night, she is an inspiration to us all.  She is innately funny, down to earth and compassionate, in fact, she is a role model on how to be human.  I am enlighted, Ruby, thank you.

TALES FROM THE AFRICAN BUSH

Whilst on safari, I lost weight fairly quickly and it wasn't just to do with the heat. After enjoying a sundowner watching impala gambol happily in the bush, we would return to camp to find them on the dinner menu, which was just too hard to swallow. The only time I have ever been offered a gin and tonic for breakfast at 5.00a.m. was on safari and it was the only time I have ever refused one, sensibly realising I was getting enough quinine in my anti-malarial tablets.

MY LIFE TO DATE AND HOW I SURVIVED IT: Hangover Hell

It was hot and steamy on the makeshift dance floor as I swilled what I thought was a lot of bitter lemon with a little gin, but the bitter lemon disguised a lethal cocktail of various spirits. With my sound system set to max volume, Tina Turner’s Nutbush City Limits began to sound hollow and distant as my surroundings blurred and my speech slurred. I managed to make it upstairs to the bathroom where, kneeling in front of the lavatory, I projectile vomited the fermenting brew inside my stomach.

MY LIFE TO DATE AND HOW I SURVIVED IT: Boarding School Badass

What was going on in my teenage brain is unfathomable to me now.  I was driven by the overwhelming desire to be expelled so I could spend more time with my dog and my horse.The only teacher that had any control over me was my English teacher, but only from the day, he asked us to write a poem.  I wrote hundreds, then moved on to short stories which he helped me get published and I became more focused and a little less defiant.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: