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The Critic

I haven’t quite written myself off yet… 😏  pardon the pun…

THE CRITIC

© Tessa Barrie

 My dear … the trouble is it lacks imagination

There is absolutely no originality or guile

You say it’s taken you half your lifetime

To cultivate your method and your style

 

Oh dear me … what a shame I didn’t meet you sooner

I’d have put you on the road where you belong

For crafting words and moulding them into paragraphs

Is a talent that, for you, is not too strong

 

You see … I’ve guided many people in my lifetime

I’ve told them straight and never minced my words

I’ve proffered and given selflessly my words of wisdom

Sadly many topped themselves soon after they heard

 

However … as a critic I far outrank those featured in the tabloids

You don’t have to be famous to ooze literary prowess

I know my job so well and carry it out to perfection

I call a spade a spade and nothing less

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Photo Credit:  Huff Post

So darling … please don’t be despondent or disillusioned

Dry your eyes; your tears don’t become you at all

Please go before you have a nervous breakdown

And by the way, there’s a shrink just down the hall

 

You must believe me … this is my final warning!

Take one step closer and I will take aim and fire

Just because you can’t take constructive criticism

Doesn’t give you the right to call me a liar!

 

Enough!  My secretary’s called the Police and the Fire Brigade!

Her instructions include a straight jacket and a muzzle too

So please, just try to be a good girl

And accept that writing’s not the career for you

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Thank you very much for visiting my niche-less blog! If you have time before you leave, would love you to tell us what you think. All the best, Tessa Barrie

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