Avoiding Arguments: Smart or Spineless?


 

I missed out on the hippy revolution, but if had I been old enough to be a part of the make love, not war subculture, I would have been there with flowers in my hair.

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I am a non-confrontational person.  I shy away from dissension wherever possible, always believing there must be a less exacting way to resolve a dispute rather than argue about it, especially when I’m emotionally involved.

Does that make me a weak person?  

When I was a child, my parents were constantly locked in heated verbal skirmishes and my inclination then was to run for the hills and now?  I go for very long walks to try and make sense of things.

There are different kinds of arguments of course and they rumble along around us all the time in the political arena and in the workplace.

People do not always agree on what is right or reasonable and arguments are a good way to clear the air.

Arguments usually involve a degree of anger and I will vent mine towards the things that demand urgent solutions, #stopwar, , #domesticabuse, #humanrights, #womensrights #savingtheplanet… to name but a few.  

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Photo Credit: Minh Tan digitalcitizen.ca

Yet, when I witness two people arguing, I turn pacifier, so I am constantly berated for sitting on the fence and how painful it must be there.

Arguments within families are usually triggered by misconstrued, throwaway comments blown up out of all proportion.  Most will end in laughter, others will end in tears and those are the ones that make me feel like I am drowning in an emotional vortex, whilst sitting on the fence, unable to respond, other than to run.

Everybody has the right to express their feelings, opinions and wants, it is one of our basic Human Rights.   Anger is something that happens when we feel threatened or attacked, frustrated or powerless.  It’s just that I find it difficult to put the two together when emotionally involved.

Call me a wuss or a wimp, whatever you like.  I rest my case.

 

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www.christart.com

 

In logic and philosophy, an argument is a series of statements, called the premises or premisses intended to determine the degree of truth of another statement, the conclusion. Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Avoiding Arguments: Smart or Spineless?

Add yours

  1. Enjoyed reading this post, Tessa. I generally employ something with a structure akin to the 5 stages of grief: 1) Try humor; 2) Try finding common ground; 3) Try reason; 4) Screw reason–get riled up; 5) Walk away (and hope for peace tomorrow).

    1. Hi Amy… Greetings from Jersey, Channel Islands, UK. Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment on this post. Love your 5 stages. I actually read your post THE ASSUMPTIONS WE MAKE, earlier this month. Not sure why I didn’t stop to comment. Anyway, I thought it was spot on and look forward to reading more of your blog in the future.

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