“I wrote for twelve years and collected 250 rejection slips before getting any fiction published, so I guess outside reinforcement isn’t all that important to me.”
I’m just about to start putting my first-born novel out and about. My baby will be all on its own for the first time, without me tweaking it every five minutes.
Over the last few months, I have been going cross-eyed, editing and rewriting. During that time I have also been trying to build up a mental image of the new me with a tough persona.
The tough new me has a skin that is as thick as rhinoceros hide
- With a steely, gritty resolve
- And doesn’t accept no for an answer
No longer the wuss who breaks down and sobs uncontrollably when watching films such as Spirit – Stallion of the Cimarron and Bambi.
Years ago, I was churning out a short story a week and building up an impressive pile of rejection letters and slips. Somehow, I didn’t feel quite so upset about the short pieces being batted back to me, but let’s hope my new steely resolve has kicked in by the time I start getting feedback from the 3-year investment of my blood, sweat, and tears.
My dear … the trouble is it lacks imagination
There is absolutely no originality or guile
You say it’s taken you half your lifetime
To cultivate your method and your style
Oh dear me … what a shame I didn’t meet you sooner
I’d have put you on the road where you belong
For crafting words and moulding them into paragraphs
Is a talent that, for you, is not too strong
You see … I’ve guided many people in my lifetime
I’ve told them straight and never minced my words
I’ve proffered and given selflessly my words of wisdom
Sadly many topped themselves soon after they heard
However … as a critic I far outrank those featured in the tabloids
You don’t have to be famous to ooze literary prowess
I know my job so well and carry it out to perfection
I call a spade a spade and nothing less
So darling … please don’t be despondent or disillusioned
Dry your eyes; your tears don’t become you at all
Please go before you have a nervous breakdown
And by the way, there’s a shrink just down the hall
You must believe me … this is my final warning!
Take one step closer and I will take aim and fire
Just because you can’t take constructive criticism
Doesn’t give you the right to call me a liar!
Enough! My secretary’s called the Police and the Fire Brigade!
Her instructions include a straight jacket and a muzzle too
So please, just try to be a good girl
And accept that writing’s not the career for you