“I wrote for twelve years and collected 250 rejection slips before getting any fiction published, so I guess outside reinforcement isn’t all that important to me.”

Lisa Alther

head in laptop

I’m just about to start putting my first-born novel out and about.  My baby will be all on its own for the first time, without me tweaking it every five minutes.

Over the last few months, I have been going cross-eyed, editing and rewriting.  During that time I have also been trying to build up a mental image of the new me with a tough persona.

  • me ready for anything.jpg
    My perception of the tough new me

    The tough new me has a skin that is as thick as rhinoceros hide

  • With a steely, gritty resolve
  • And doesn’t accept no for an answer

No longer the wuss who breaks down and sobs uncontrollably when watching films such as Spirit – Stallion of the Cimarron and Bambi.

Spirit

Bambi

Years ago, I was churning out a short story a week and building up an impressive pile of rejection letters and slips.  Somehow, I didn’t feel quite so upset about the short pieces being batted back to me, but let’s hope my new steely resolve has kicked in by the time I start getting feedback from the 3-year investment of my blood, sweat, and tears.

THE CRITIC

My dear … the trouble is it lacks imagination

There is absolutely no originality or guile

You say it’s taken you half your lifetime

To cultivate your method and your style

Oh dear me … what a shame I didn’t meet you sooner

I’d have put you on the road where you belong

For crafting words and moulding them into paragraphs

Is a talent that, for you, is not too strong

You see … I’ve guided many people in my lifetime

I’ve told them straight and never minced my words

I’ve proffered and given selflessly my words of wisdom

Sadly many topped themselves soon after they heard

However … as a critic I far outrank those featured in the tabloids

You don’t have to be famous to ooze literary prowess

I know my job so well and carry it out to perfection

I call a spade a spade and nothing less

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Photo Credit:  Huff Post

So darling … please don’t be despondent or disillusioned

Dry your eyes; your tears don’t become you at all

Please go before you have a nervous breakdown

And by the way, there’s a shrink just down the hall

You must believe me … this is my final warning!

Take one step closer and I will take aim and fire

Just because you can’t take constructive criticism

Doesn’t give you the right to call me a liar!

Enough!  My secretary’s called the Police and the Fire Brigade!

Her instructions include a straight jacket and a muzzle too

So please, just try to be a good girl

And accept that writing’s not the career for you

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Written by Tessa Barrie

Writer and blogger from Jersey in the Channel Islands UK who believes life is too short to be niche. 🙃 Currently working on her first novel.

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