I am not sure when your dotage officially begins.  I suppose it is a gradual process.  You start finding tell-tail signs around the house.

When you open your fridge door and find your confused but well-fed cat suffering from a mild case of hyperthermia or when you start leaving your bunch of keys in the car door when you go shopping.

car-keys
Don’t invite crime by encouraging strangers to take your car and walk into your home.

Fortunately for me, on both occasions, I was shopping at Waitrose, the bastion of groceries for the middle classes, according to Michael McIntyre, so both my car and my keys were there when I got back.

There is nothing good about getting older.  Like memory loss.  I knew all the answers to the Times 2 crossword this morning, but I just couldn’t remember them.

And there’s the weight gain.  I used to have a waist and from what I can remember, it was somewhere below my ribcage.  I blame the steroids myself.

My sleek, honey blonde hair, that used to shine in the sunlight sleek hair gif.gif

has now taken on a wintery hue, it’s brittle strands often break off when I brush it.

grey
White blonde? No?

I hate looking in the mirror these days, blemishes appear on my face overnight, Marmite-coloured manifestations that come in various shapes and sizes.

age-spots-on-face-brown-spots
Marmite-coloured manifestations

 

 

 

 

I have no control over these things, they just happen, but at least I am still in control of my bladder, except when I laugh.

leaky-bladder
It’s only when I laugh

 

 

 

 

Written by Tessa Barrie

Writer and blogger from Jersey in the Channel Islands UK who believes life is too short to be niche. 🙃 Currently working on her first novel.

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