07.00hrs. Woken up by the gentle lapping of the waves under water Bungalow 201 at Reethi Beach, The Maldives. The cats are on the decking watching the fish on the incoming tide and Cassie The Blog Dog is on her back, snoozing.
09.00hrs At home in Jersey. Have just written another 1000 words of novel number 6, which is coming on a treat as the ideas are positively flooding into my brain. I am struggling to write them down fast enough. Life is sweet.
10.00a.m. breakfast at Bumpkins Beach Bar, Antigua with my agent to discuss the opportunity for a sequel, to novel number 4 and film rights for my autobiographical romp … My Overactive Imagination.
Johnny Depp is really keen to take the part of Christian, my toyboy lover and there is no need for anyone to know that Christian is a figment of my imagination. Wonder if I should audition for the part me? But Julie Walters might just have the edge and Amanda Seyfried as my younger self will be perfect. I know Cassie the Blog Dog is keen to play herself in the movie. She was not impressed that Pudsey had auditioned for the part. He may have the relevant acting experience, but he is the wrong size and sex. She has been auditioning puppies to play the part of her younger self and has seen over 100 hopeful young pups to date and still hasn’t found the one.
12.00 A brisk walk along St. Ouens Beach in Jersey with Cassie and we end up at Le Braye for lunch
with Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley to chat about me co-writing their next project Absolutely Fantastic, Darling, Sweetie with Jennifer, which I am really excited about.
20.00 The perfect end to a perfect day. Dinner at Temperous Beach Bar, Trafal Beach, The Algarve. Fascinating Aida are playing there tonight and we share we share a bottle of wine or two together after their set.
02.00 Fall back into my bed at ‘my’ water bungalow 201 at Reethi Beach. The doors are open and the soft warm fragrance of the Indian Ocean gently wafts through the room. And… I am about to have a truly perfect end to a perfect day because someone is coming up the ladder from the sea.
My heart is banging like a big bass drum and I feel a little lightheaded as he speaks…
‘I think we’ve all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.’*